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Welcome to the Forty Over 40 blog. We frequently spotlight one of our honorees and their thoughts on reinvention, mentorship and momentum…plus a peek into what makes them tick.

This Q & A is with Karen Walrond, Corporate Attorney Turned Photographer, Author and Speaker on Intentional Living, Creativity, Connection and ‘Thriving’. Karen is innovating her field of work as the author of the bestselling book, The Beauty of Different, championing the message that our differences make us beautiful and through Chookooloonks award-winning photoblog is inspirational source on intentional living, authenticity, gratitude and creativity.

1)  What was a pivotal momentum of reinvention for you?

It was actually heated argument that I had with a client.  I was working as an in-house attorney at a relatively large company, and I received some information that indicated an employee may have broken the law.  When I confronted him about it, he became really belligerent, yelling at me that I didn’t understand how business worked, standing over me, and blocking the doorway to my office.  I was really shaken by it — it took a few hours to calm down — but eventually, when I did, I realized that there was nothing unusual about the argument that I had:  that as a lawyer, part of my job meant that sometimes I was going to get into conflict with people who didn’t want to follow the law.  And while the conflict in this case was pretty extreme,  if it was going to be that difficult for me to handle that sort of conflict, maybe it was a sign that I should consider other options for my life.  And so, I began planning my exit strategy, and left the company (on good terms) about 5 months later.   I’m so glad that I did — while I’ve maintained my law license (I worked too hard to earn it not to!), I’ve never looked back.

2)  Who has been a valuable mentor or sponsor?  

My dad, actually.  He’s a PhD in petroleum engineering, and spent his career working in the same industry that I did when I practiced law, and experienced undeniable success as an executive on one of the world’s largest oil companies.  He’s always ready with good advice on how to handle my career and my professional life.

 3)  What is your biggest goal right now?

Well, I’ve recently become Co-Director of Collaboration and Development of The Daring Way, an organization that trains and certifies helping professionals in Brené Brown’s empirically-based research on vulnerability, courage, shame and empathy.  This is a departure from my previous corporate life working as an attorney in the oil and gas industry, so right now, my biggest goal is to do The Daring Way proud in this really exciting new role!  In addition, I’m continuing my own work in authenticity, self-esteem, gratitude and thriving, and am in the middle of writing my second book on these subjects, so finishing my manuscript is a close second.

4)  What time do you typically wake up? What do you do every morning?

Normally I wake up just before 6 a.m.  I go work out — either on a hike-and-bike trail near my home, or at the gym — and when I get back just after 7, I wake my 12-year-old daughter up so she can start getting ready for school.  We both shower and dress, and I make us both breakfast, before we race out the door.  I drop her off at school, and then head to the office!

Once I arrive at the office, I make myself a cup of tea (rarely coffee), and journal for about 15 minutes, to get my mind settled before I start my day.

5)  How do you unplug? How often do you unplug?

Journaling is my most frequent way to unplug — I doodle a lot in my journals, especially at night, listening to music or in front of the TV.  I was never a big journaler as a child or teenager, but during the past 8 years or so, I’ve filled dozens of journals.  I try to journal every weekday morning — just doing morning pages — to settle my head, but then I doodle in the evenings a few times a week as well.  I’m no sketch artist, but because the journals aren’t meant for anyone’s eyes but my own, I can draw whatever I’d like without fear of judgment.  It’s incredibly freeing.

Also, as a photographer, spending time with my camera always feels like unplugging, even when I’m shooting for work.  I shoot just about every day.  Slowing down to compose a shot in my viewfinder is almost like meditation.

6)  What cause do you most want to advance?

Anti-discrimination, in every form — gender, sexual orientation, race, you name it.   My first book, The Beauty of Different, explores how whatever it is that makes you different might actually be a superpower, and I truly believe this to be true.  Furthermore, I believe that diversity and inclusivity isn’t just the right thing to do, but that they are the birthplace of innovation, creativity and connection.  The more we value each other’s differences, the broader our perspectives become, and the more likely collaboration will result in something truly inventive.  I’ve spoken about this to groups around the country for years, and I’ll likely continue to do so until discrimination is no longer a problem.

7)  What is your “keep me going” quote?

I’ve always used the phrase “look for the light” as my mantra.  As a photographer, it’s what I do — photography literally means “drawing with light” — so whenever I’m taking a photograph, examining the quality of the light — what it’s doing, how it’s falling, that sort of thing — is imperative, equally important to the subject matter.

But also, as someone who is passionate about connection and anti-discrimination work, “look for the light” has metaphorical meaning for me, as well, because because when we look for the light in each other — that unnamed spark that animates us all — that’s where resonance and connection happen.

Finally, gratitude plays a huge role in how I move through life, so “look for the light” reminds me to notice the good in my life as often as possible.

8) What is your secret indulgence? 

Okay, honestly?  LEGO.  I love LEGO, especially building the limited edition modular buildings.  I know, I know … it’s weird, but my husband knows that if I’m having a particularly stressful time, a glass of wine and a brand new LEGO kit will set me straight.  My most recent build was the Ghostbusters Firehouse, which he got me for my 49th birthday.  It took 14 hours!

9)  Who on the list of prior Honorees would you like to meet?

I’d really love to meet Kimberly Bryant, founder of Black Girls Code.  As a black girl with an engineering degree myself (Bachelor of Science in Civil Engineering, Texas A&M University ’88), I love any person who makes it a priority to encourage young women to enter STEM professions, especially young women of colour.

And of course, Paola Gianturco feels like a sister from another mister — a photojournalist who documented women’s lives in 55 countries to help us find resonance, while also founding an organization called “Grandmother Power”?! Oh, we have to meet — preferably with our cameras in hand!

Check out Karen Walrond’s full 40 Over 40 profile here!

Welcome to the Forty Over 40 blog. We frequently spotlight one of our honorees and their thoughts on reinvention, mentorship and momentum…plus a peek into what makes them tick.

This Q & A is with KJ Dell’Antonia, Columnist and Contributing Editor for the New York Times Well Family, The New York Times.  KJ is innovating her field of work by being part of the team that rebranded and broadened the reach of the Well Family, formerly Motherlode, online report.

1)  What was a pivotal momentum of reinvention for you?

In 2001 and 2002, my first child was born, I was laid off, and we moved from New York City, where I was highly employable, to rural New Hampshire, where jobs are somewhat more scarce. I decided to give up law for writing (always my first love)–and I decided to go all in, and pursue the big jobs and big publications as though I had all the experience in the world rather than starting small (although I did target some very specific smaller names to get my foot in the door). It took time, and strategy, but it worked.

2)  Who has been a valuable mentor or sponsor?

Megan Lieberman, who first hired me at the Times, put full confidence in my ability to do a big and complex job remotely. Every time I proved capable of taking on more, she made that happen, and her confidence in me gave me confidence in myself. Everyone at the Times struggles to feel “worthy” of the Times (something I didn’t realize until I’d been there for years) and having the support of your boss is invaluable. 

3)  What is your biggest goal right now?

I have a book due, and I want to write something that’s fun to read, thoughtful and accessible—and genuinely helpful. So many of us aren’t really enjoying our family lives, and I think we could make that better, both individually and as a society.

4)  How did you get your first job? How did you jump to your second job?

I got my first actual “job” as a writer—reviewing for Common Sense Media—by watching for new media that I thought had promise, and then sending them an email laying out my qualifications and asking for the opportunity. I think I offered to do three test reviews, and I delivered exactly what they asked for when they asked for it. Then, when Slate was launching its new XXFactor blog, I asked to be part of it in a couple of different ways, reaching out to everyone I could–and eventually got in writing reviews of children’s media, just like I did for Common Sense Media. I wanted to do more–so again, I asked. I offered to do it for free, I delivered professionally, and eventually I became a regular contributor. That’s an important pattern for me–if you want a job, if you want to do something new, or change something, you have to ask. So many of us wait for things to happen.

5)  What time do you typically wake up? What do you do every morning?

During the school year, I get up at 6:30 every morning. My husband gets up at 6 and gets the kids (10, 10, 12 and 15)  up and fed, then I take over to get the younger three out the door while he drives our oldest to the high school carpool or bus. The younger kids and I try to be at the barn by seven (we own a stable, which is run by a friend), and we help with chores until 7:35, when we leave for school. I’m usually back home and at my desk by 8.

6)  How do you unplug? How often do you unplug?

I go pretty much offline from a work perspective every weekend, unless I make a conscious decision to work. I’ve found that I’m tired of email and social sharing, and I really need a break from it. But that doesn’t mean I’m totally disconnected–I still text with my friends and my mom, or play Pokemon Go–I don’t really worry about that kind of connection. And a couple times a year I set my email vacation responder to say I’m not just away, but that the emails I receive while I”m gone won’t be read, ever, and I just let it all go away. I have a personal email friends can use, but the work stuff I shuttle into a folder that I don’t look at unless I need to find something I know is in there. I love doing that. 

7)  What was the last business book you read? 

I’d put Elizabeth Gilbert’s Big Magic on that list. My business is in telling stories, and helping other people tell stories, and her view that creativity and self-expression isn’t a luxury or a thing reserved to a sacred few really resonates for me.

8)  What cause do you most want to advance?

I want to help Americans to understand that raising a family is personal, but it’s also a very social act, and ultimately a social good—which means that all families deserve our support. We really put a lot of barriers in the way of parents who are just trying to be both breadwinners and caregivers.

9)  Who on the list of prior Honorees would you like to meet?

Katie Orenstein, founder of the OpEd project. I love the project’s goals of getting voices heard on opinion pages across the country that are too often absent.

Check out KJ Dell’Antonia’s full 40 Over 40 profile here!

Welcome to the Forty Over 40 blog. We frequently spotlight one of our honorees and their thoughts on reinvention, mentorship and momentum…plus a peek into what makes them tick.

This Q & A is with Kyle Ann Stokes, the Co-Founder of IRIS focused on promoting women in film and the Co-Founder of The Writers Lab, filmmaker, mother, and community volunteer. Kyle is innovating her field of work with IRIS’s first venture is The Writers Lab, a screenwriting lab for women over 40, funded by Meryl Streep.

1)  What was a pivotal moment of reinvention for you?

This I love.  I went to an event at the U.N.  I had never been there before and was in awe of this massive room, full of people from across the globe, phone translators and all, and the joy that surrounded them. They were there to celebrate the release of the book Founding a Movement: Women’s World banking 1975 – 1990.  I heard stories of their struggles when trying to find ways to empower women financially.  One of the stories triggered a time for them and the next thing I know everyone stood up and sang This Little Light of Mine.  It may sound silly – but I cannot tell you how moved I was.  Walking out of the building that night I remember feeling absolutely elated.  I went home and devoured the book which was life changing.  I immediately saw the parallel between the old boys club of banking and Hollywood and knew I had to build rather than try and change or penetrate the film industry.  Then somehow I used some of that phenomenal energy that was present that night at the U.N. and forged ahead.

2) Who has been a valuable mentor or sponsor?

Michaela Walsh.  She is the extraordinary woman who started Women’s World Banking.  She has been unbelievably generous; sharing her wisdom and time, and I am so grateful to get to know her.   Oh and of course Meryl Streep!!!   She blew the roof off with her tremendous grace and power.  

3)  What is your biggest goal right now?

My short-term goal is to make sure that we lay down a solid foundation for the Writers Lab and become a cornerstone for female filmmakers.  And then make my own movie!!!  I miss filmmaking.

My long-term goal is an IRIS film series – similar to something like the old school movie of the week – but maybe a movie of the month (or one per season?)  It is great to develop projects but ultimately we want the films to be seen and there is so much potential in a branded film series that would help facilitate the proliferation of the female voice.   In my mind it is absolutely vital to share stories from the female perspective  – that is what binds us, informs us, and helps shape our growth.   

4)  How did you get your first job? How did you jump to your second job?  

I was looking for a contact – anyone – who worked in the film industry and a friend of mine gave me her cousins phone number.   I called the cousin and she said she had just hung up with a friend who worked in the development office at Spring Creek Productions and he was looking for an intern, so I of course applied for the job.   I had to write coverage of a script – luckily he liked what I wrote and brought me aboard.    The production company had a lot of relationships with various companies – one of which was a boutique Literary and Talent Agency, The Tantleff Office.  The people at Spring Creek knew I was looking for a paying job and when they heard the agency was hiring they suggested I apply.  Again I was lucky that they picked me because I needed to get paid.

5)  What time do you typically wake up? What do you do every morning?

In my dreams I wake at 5, meditate, write in my journal and do yoga.  In reality, I get up at 6:30, make my son a huge breakfast and lunch, make the beds, and take him to school.

6)  How did you feel on your 30th birthday? What were you doing at that time? 

I was working as an apprentice editor on the film Kundun.  I sometimes worked 90-hour weeks – but I loved every second of it!  Thelma Schoonmaker, the editor, is an incredible woman.  She gave me lots of room to rise to the occasion, and when I did, I would find flowers or some lovely typed sticky note on my workbench.   On my first day she asked me to work with a film print and I had no idea what I was doing– mind you I am talking about a Martin Scorsese film print – so I was very nervous.  Anyway, I snapped it and then yelled an expletive. Thelma ran into the room and patiently said, “It’s all good, don’t worry.  However, we don’t raise our voices in here, but more importantly, let’s assume you don’t know anything – which is absolutely fine – just come and ask me anything at all.”   She made me feel so welcome.

7)  How do you unplug? How often do you unplug?

I hike.   Some months I find myself going once a week but when that’s not possible I walk through Central Park.  I also meditate and do yoga – and watch my son play little league baseball.  

8)  What’s the best networking contact you’ve made? How did you make it?

Gerri Peroni. Gerri was a highly respected film editor and as soon as I worked for her, more doors started to open.   This was at the beginning of the digital revolution and I was working for a company that installed highly sophisticated non-linear editing equipment (I had left the agency because I wanted to be closer to actual filmmaking).  Anyway, I was in Chicago visiting family and the company called and asked if I would stop in Gerri’s cutting room and check on some computer hardware that wasn’t working.   (She was editing a Nora Ephron film at the time). I went in and fixed the problem – which they greatly appreciated – and therefore asked if I wanted to stay on and work on the film.  She was fantastic: powerful, thoughtful, and inclusive.  I feel very lucky to have been taken under her wing – and I was finally working on an actual film.

9)  What was the last business book you read? 

I haven’t been reading business books but I’ve been listening to the From Scratch Podcasts – I find the stories inspiring.

10)  What cause do you most want to advance?

This was on the bottom of emails for a long time:

This world has lost its equilibrium but if more women took leadership roles we could encourage balance.

11)  What song can’t you get out of your head? 

Led Zeppelin’s Ramble On

12)  What is the best piece of advice you ever received?

When I was in my early 20’s my dad and I got into a big fight and he said, “I have put more effort into this dinner than you have put into anything in the past year.”  That really stuck with me.

13)  Who on the list of prior Honorees would you like to meet?

All of them!  

Check out Kyle Ann Stoke’s full 40 Over 40 profile here!

Welcome to the Forty Over 40 blog. We frequently spotlight one of our honorees and their thoughts on reinvention, mentorship and momentum…plus a peek into what makes them tick.

This Q & A is with Shelley Westman the Vice President of Operations & Strategic Initiatives for IBM Security. Shelley is innovating her field of work by in addition to overseeing business operations, serving on several IBM boards and committees that are focused on strategic hiring and skills, and also leads the IBM Security University Programs.

1) What was a pivotal momentum of reinvention for you?  

My biggest pivotal moment was when I went from being a practicing lawyer to being an IBMer.  I had always wanted to practice law since I was 9 years old, but once I was practicing, I decided it was not the right career for me.  I was fortunate to get into IBM where I have held a variety of key roles in various business units.

2) Who has been a valuable mentor or sponsor?  

I am so fortunate to have had many great mentors and sponsors over the years, far too many to name for fear of leaving someone out.  What I have found really helps is to have a mentor who is different than you, so they can give you a different point of view than yours.

3) What is your biggest goal right now?

My biggest goal right now is to serve as a mentor, role model and inspiration for young women in high school and college, who want to go into a career in cybersecurity. If young women don’t have female role models, they won’t picture themselves in this type of career and may never gain interest in joining the security space.  It is really rewarding for me to have young women come up to me after a speech and tell me that I have inspired them to keep going and not give up.

 4) How did you get your first job? How did you jump to your second job?  

I knew a lawyer at IBM who referred me to a contracts group at IBM that was hiring people with law degrees.  My first job was drafting and negotiating contracts for IBM.  Once I was at IBM, I was enthralled by the corporate world and kept seeing different areas I wanted to experience. I have had roles in the supply chain, various operations areas, ran strategy for our hardware group, owned product lines and now cyber security.

5)  How do you unplug? How often do you unplug?  

I unplug by going to the gym and reading.  Both of them transport you to another world.  At the gym you have to pay full attention and give it your all and reading takes you to another world all together.  I try to do some form of unplugging each day, even if it is only for an hour or two.  Also, I unplug by laughing with my daughter.  We find each other hysterical and laugh often (the funniest part is that my husband doesn’t find either of us very funny ☺)

6)  What cause do you most want to advance?  

Getting more women into leadership roles and STEM fields, including cybersecurity. The statistics are shocking.  Women make up over 50% of college graduates but only 10% of cybersecurity professionals.  Women are choosing other career paths and this means that as an industry, we are leaving a lot of great talent on the table.

7)  What song can’t you get out of your head? 

“Can’t stop the feeling” by Justin Timberlake.  For some reason it makes me happy!  It’s got a great beat and it is about dancing…what’s not to love?

8)  What is the best piece of advice you ever received?

It is a line from a song by Leanne Womack and it really speaks to me… the line says “… and when you get the choice to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance.”  To me this means be an active participant in life.  Say yes, take risks, put yourself out there. I know that I will only regret the things I didn’t do, didn’t say or didn’t try.  I have taken a lot of risks in my career and been in several roles where they were brand new and I had to chart the course… and I always keep that line from the song in mind!

9)  What is your “keep me going” quote?  

“At 211 degrees…. water is hot, at 212 degrees…. water boils. It’s that ONE extra degree that makes all the difference.”  I love this quote, I have a signed copy of a poster from the author on my wall and I look at it every single day. It reminds me to always do a little more to give it that extra degree.

10) What is your secret indulgence? 

Not so secret.  Chocolate – I eat it every day and can’t live with out it.  Very close second is diet coke.

Check out Shelley Westman’s full 40 Over 40 profile here!

Welcome to the Forty Over 40 blog. We frequently spotlight one of our honorees and their thoughts on reinvention, mentorship and momentum…plus a peek into what makes them tick.

This Q & A is with Rebecca Odes, Co-Founder of the internet-based platform Wifey.tv. She also co-founded Gurl.com and is an author of four books about identity for women and girls. Rebecca is innovating her field of work by in her 20s, co-founding Gurl.com, the first major website for teenage girls and young women and in her 30s, turning her attention to another identity transition: becoming a parent. FROM THE HIPS ushered in a new era of guidebooks about pregnancy and parenthood.

1) What was a pivotal moment of reinvention for you?

When I discovered digital media, all the things I was interested in and good at could co-exist in one place instead of pulling me in different directions. A few years after college, I applied to the Interactive Telecommunications Program at NYU. I went there expecting to focus on very personal stories with animation and sound. I ended up developing Gurl.com, which took that personal story idea and brought it to millions of girls around the world.

2) Who has been a valuable mentor or sponsor?

Red Burns, who founded ITP, was a huge supporter and influence. She ran a technology program, but she wasn’t especially interested in technology. She was interested in world-changing ideas that were facilitated by technology. That shift opened up a world of possibility that still inspires my thinking and work. She was also a woman who plowed through boundaries and encouraged others to do the same.

3) What is your biggest goal right now?

To maximize Wifey’s potential to amplify women’s voices and get more work out there into the world.

4) What time do you typically wake up? What do you do every morning?

In my fantasy work life, here’s what I would be doing in the morning:

Wake up at 7:45, go straight to caffeine delivery system and then computer without human contact, get directly to work.  

In my actual life, here’s what I do in the morning:

Wake up at 6:45, frantically try to address kids’ needs, get everyone out the door with a minimum of screaming, deal with inevitable emergencies, get to work. I have a lot of creative energy first thing in the morning and it’s a struggle to not be able to flow that right into my work without interruption. I aspire to be one of those people who gets up at 5 AM to get solid work time in, but I have a tendency to work late when I’m in project mode, so it’s a tough sell.

5)  How did you feel on your 30th birthday? What were you doing at that time? 

I turned 30 riding the cresting wave of Internet 1.0. I was growing the site I’d co-founded as a school project into a multi-media company. I was working on my first book, a dream project for me in so many ways. I woke up that day with the words ‘bad-ass self-actualized m*therf***er” in my head. I was so glad to be done with the part of my life when I didn’t have the confidence to trust myself.

6)  What challenge / achievement are you most proud of?

I think the thing I’m proudest of is the work that has helped people feel less alone through feelings or experiences that had not been well represented in existing media, whether through adolescence, the transition to parenthood, or another aspect of being a woman in our culture. Women get such limited bandwidth and so much of it is embedded in aspirational media whose real goal is to sell things. To find something that connects with you without simultaneously making you feel judged can be a real revelation. Knowing my work made people feel better about themselves is what I feel most proud about.

7)  What song can’t you get out of your head? 

I’m very susceptible to earworms and easily driven insane by them. But the worst one, honestly, is that Kars for Kids jingle. My whole family lunges for the remote when that commercial comes on just to stop me from screaming.

8) What is your secret indulgence?

I try to avoid an indulgence mindset in general. I don’t feel guilty about letting myself enjoy things. I think this may be the result of my upbringing as much as a directly feminist stance (though I was definitely raised in a feminist household). But it is a particular problem for women, this idea that we need to hide the things that give us pleasure. Is it because we feel we don’t deserve them or because they’re somehow considered unseemly? Either way it’s counterproductive. Part of the path from object to subject is women owning a relationship to pleasure and desire in an out and proud way.

Check out Rebecca Odes’s full 40 Over 40 profile here!