Welcome to the Forty Over 40 blog. We frequently spotlight one of our honorees and their thoughts on reinvention, mentorship and momentum…plus a peek into what makes them tick.
This Q & A is with KJ Dell’Antonia, Columnist and Contributing Editor for the New York Times Well Family, The New York Times. KJ is innovating her field of work by being part of the team that rebranded and broadened the reach of the Well Family, formerly Motherlode, online report.
1) What was a pivotal momentum of reinvention for you?
In 2001 and 2002, my first child was born, I was laid off, and we moved from New York City, where I was highly employable, to rural New Hampshire, where jobs are somewhat more scarce. I decided to give up law for writing (always my first love)–and I decided to go all in, and pursue the big jobs and big publications as though I had all the experience in the world rather than starting small (although I did target some very specific smaller names to get my foot in the door). It took time, and strategy, but it worked.
2) Who has been a valuable mentor or sponsor?
Megan Lieberman, who first hired me at the Times, put full confidence in my ability to do a big and complex job remotely. Every time I proved capable of taking on more, she made that happen, and her confidence in me gave me confidence in myself. Everyone at the Times struggles to feel “worthy” of the Times (something I didn’t realize until I’d been there for years) and having the support of your boss is invaluable.
3) What is your biggest goal right now?
I have a book due, and I want to write something that’s fun to read, thoughtful and accessible—and genuinely helpful. So many of us aren’t really enjoying our family lives, and I think we could make that better, both individually and as a society.
4) How did you get your first job? How did you jump to your second job?
I got my first actual “job” as a writer—reviewing for Common Sense Media—by watching for new media that I thought had promise, and then sending them an email laying out my qualifications and asking for the opportunity. I think I offered to do three test reviews, and I delivered exactly what they asked for when they asked for it. Then, when Slate was launching its new XXFactor blog, I asked to be part of it in a couple of different ways, reaching out to everyone I could–and eventually got in writing reviews of children’s media, just like I did for Common Sense Media. I wanted to do more–so again, I asked. I offered to do it for free, I delivered professionally, and eventually I became a regular contributor. That’s an important pattern for me–if you want a job, if you want to do something new, or change something, you have to ask. So many of us wait for things to happen.
5) What time do you typically wake up? What do you do every morning?
During the school year, I get up at 6:30 every morning. My husband gets up at 6 and gets the kids (10, 10, 12 and 15) up and fed, then I take over to get the younger three out the door while he drives our oldest to the high school carpool or bus. The younger kids and I try to be at the barn by seven (we own a stable, which is run by a friend), and we help with chores until 7:35, when we leave for school. I’m usually back home and at my desk by 8.
6) How do you unplug? How often do you unplug?
I go pretty much offline from a work perspective every weekend, unless I make a conscious decision to work. I’ve found that I’m tired of email and social sharing, and I really need a break from it. But that doesn’t mean I’m totally disconnected–I still text with my friends and my mom, or play Pokemon Go–I don’t really worry about that kind of connection. And a couple times a year I set my email vacation responder to say I’m not just away, but that the emails I receive while I”m gone won’t be read, ever, and I just let it all go away. I have a personal email friends can use, but the work stuff I shuttle into a folder that I don’t look at unless I need to find something I know is in there. I love doing that.
7) What was the last business book you read?
I’d put Elizabeth Gilbert’s Big Magic on that list. My business is in telling stories, and helping other people tell stories, and her view that creativity and self-expression isn’t a luxury or a thing reserved to a sacred few really resonates for me.
8) What cause do you most want to advance?
I want to help Americans to understand that raising a family is personal, but it’s also a very social act, and ultimately a social good—which means that all families deserve our support. We really put a lot of barriers in the way of parents who are just trying to be both breadwinners and caregivers.
9) Who on the list of prior Honorees would you like to meet?
Katie Orenstein, founder of the OpEd project. I love the project’s goals of getting voices heard on opinion pages across the country that are too often absent.
Check out KJ Dell’Antonia’s full 40 Over 40 profile here!
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